Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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