So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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