i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
