sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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