so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
