PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
