I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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