He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
