community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
