You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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