Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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