He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
