LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
