This girl is more easily done than said...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
