I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize