once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
