Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
