why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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