If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
