I heard we made out
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
