Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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