just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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