I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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