I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
