Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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