I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
