I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
