Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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