using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
