How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
