Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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