Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize