come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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