im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We are all done wearing pants today
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
