Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
