how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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