Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
