I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
