Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Houston, we have a squirter
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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