there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
