Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
