I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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