ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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