Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
