I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
