I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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