why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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