She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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