My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
