Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
