literally had 100 drinks last night.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
