Kareoke will never be a sober sport
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
