He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize