Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It was confusing and full of hummus
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
