New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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