Dual....:-)
i think my mom watched the whole time
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
