I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
