Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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