Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
