dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
third nipple confirmed
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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