He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
