I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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