theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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