the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
